If you've ever had a dream about someone unexpected, such as an ex, co-worker, or crush, you might wonder why someone might appear in your dreams. While dreams are often centered on your daytime thoughts and concerns, they can also reflect your unconscious thoughts or feelings about others. In other cases, dreams might symbolically represent something else entirely.
Dreaming About Someone Can Reveal Unconscious Feelings
The psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud played a significant role in connecting dream interpretation to the field of psychology. Dreams, Freud suggested, were one way to access the unconscious mind. Freud described the unconscious mind as a vast reservoir of thoughts, feelings, and desires hidden from conscious awareness.
Even though the contents of the unconscious are not directly accessible, Freud still believed that these thoughts, memories, and desires could still have an influence on behavior. Freud also believed the unconscious could be explored through processes such as dream analysis, free association, hypnosis, Freudian slips, and psychoanalysis.
Freud believed that brining unconscious information to light could help alleviate psychological distress. If dreaming about someone has left you upset, distressed, or just plain baffled, exploring your dream's meaning may help you make sense of what it might mean.
Why Does Someone Show Up In Your Dreams?
According to Jesse Lyon, a licensed mental health counselor and owner of Lyon Counseling in Casselberry, Florida, in order to understand what it means to dream about someone, it is essential first to understand that dreams communicate information on two different levels. These levels are known as the manifest content and the latent content.
Sigmund Freud famously described these two aspects of dreams in his seminal book "The Interpretation of Dreams." Freud suggested that dreams were highly symbolic and contained literal meanings (the manifest content) and symbolic meanings (the latent content).
Manifest Content
The manifest content of a dream is the actual events and images that take place within the dream.
This is the imagery and storyline that you remember upon waking. If you dream about someone, the manifest content would be the details about that individual, their appearance, the events that take place, and the interactions you have within the dream.
"Manifest content is very literal and will communicate with you directly about a problem you have or situation you experienced," Lyon explains. "For example, you might dream about getting into an argument with your romantic partner because you are currently experiencing conflict in your relationship; this is pretty straightforward dream processing."
Another example might be having a dream about attending a concert with a close friend you haven’t seen in a long time. The manifest content would be the events, your friend's words and reactions, and the other sensory and perceptual elements you experience as a dreamer.
The manifest content may not, however, necessarily reflect the underlying meaning of the dream. It is through analyzing the latent content—or the symbolic meaning—that you might get a better idea of what your dream might mean.
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Latent Content
The latent content of a dream, Lyon notes, is much more personal and emotional. This involves the subconscious meaning of the dream, or what dream interpreters would say is the hidden meaning behind your dream. In the previous example of arguing with a partner, Lyon explains, it might mean that the person is struggling with feeling unworthy of their partner’s love.
Dreaming about a friend you haven't seen in years might symbolically represent a subconscious yearning for reconnection or a desire to find closure for unresolved feelings. Or it might indicate a broader desire for more social connection and companionship in general.
Examples of Dream Symbolism
"If you ever see someone show up in your dreams, ask yourself: 'What does this person symbolize to me?'" Lyon suggests. If it's your:
- Boss: It might represent struggles with authority.
- Mother: You might be dealing with struggles related to femininity and self-nurturance.
- High-school teacher: You might be coping with feeling judged or graded.
Dreaming About Romance and Relationships
What does it mean if you dream about your crush or about dating someone?Dreaming about a crush might be about the obvious meaning—you are interested in being with them romantically. However, Lyon notes, that isn't necessarily the whole story.
Because dreams have manifest (or literal) content and latent (or more symbolic) meanings, it is essential to consider both. The manifest content of your dreams might reveal deeper, subconscious meanings that are worth exploring.
This is something you might wonder about, particularly if you have a romantic dream about someone who isn’t necessarily a potential romantic partner (such as one of a friend or boss).
"Romantic involvement is all about connection. So, if you are on a date, or even having sex, with someone you would not expect, that person symbolizes an area of your life that you need to connect with more deeply," Lyon explains.
Meaning Behind Romantic Dreams About Someone
According to Lyon, these dreams might be more about:
- Control over your own life: "If you dream about having sex with your boss, you may not actually want to have sex with them, but you definitely need to consider how you connect with your own authority and assertiveness over your life's direction."
- Letting go of emotional baggage: "If you dream about having sex with your ex, you may not actually want to get back with them, but you should definitely consider what unresolved baggage from your past that you need to connect with and let go."
- Personal growth: "If you dream about having sex with your friend, think about what are the most important characteristics of your friend.Chances are your mind is trying to teach you how to grow as a person and connect with those admirable personality traits."
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What Can Dreaming About Someone Tell Us
Dreams can not only provide insights into our subconscious thoughts, feelings, desires, and fears. They can also offer a perspective that can help deepen your relationships in ways that support connection and mental well-being.
It is important to remember, Lyon notes, that all the many roles we play in life act as characters that live inside of our minds. The characters we play (such as parents, partners, friends, or colleagues) make up the complete picture of who we are as individuals.
Whenever we are visited by someone in our dreams, we need to consider the literal meaning, but then go deeper to think about how that person in our dreams is teaching us to connect with a new character that lives inside us.
— JESSE LYON, LMHC, LYON COUNSELING
"By learning to understand and accept all of the different characters that live inside of us, we become more complete as a person and can then love others with greater empathy and understanding," Lyon says.
It is important to remember that dream interpretation is highly personal. The specific meaning of someone appearing in a dream depends on factors that are unique to you. Examining your dreams and trying to understand their meanings, both literal and symbolic, can give you greater insights into your own thoughts, emotions, and relationships.
"That's the power of dreams! To help us grow and understand ourselves in ways that we could never do while awake and, from these insights, find peace within ourselves, and carry that peace to others," Lyon says.
Frequently Asked Questions
Does dreaming of someone mean they are thinking of you?
No, dreaming about someone does not mean that they are thinking about you. Your dreams are highly personal, subjective experiences that are the product of your own individual mind, experiences, perceptions, emotions, and memories.
If you dream about someone, it is much more likely a reflection of your own thoughts and subconscious feelings instead of an indication of how they are feeling or thinking about you.Dreams can provide insights into relationships and help you better understand your feelings. However, it is important not to make inferences about what others might think based on your dreams.
Can two people have the same dream?
Dreams are unique to the individual. While two people can certainly dream about the same topic or have similar dreams, their dreams would still differ in various ways.
Similarities in dreams between two people are most likely due to factors such as shared experiences, connections, and cultural influences. For example, two friends who attended the same event might have dreams with similar elements.
Common dream themes do exist that often show up in many people's dreams. Some things that people commonly dream about include being late, falling, flying, school-related activities, sex, and being chased.
